Moonpig survey reveals the new rules of friendship
Why Being “Low Maintenance” Is the Best Compliment You Can Give Your Friend
Have you got a friend you can go months without speaking to, but pick things up as if no time’s passed at all? The type of best friendship that’s spanned decades, and if you call them at 3 am asking for help, they’ll be there in a heartbeat, yet you have a maximum of two photos together and see them less than you see your dentist. If you do, you’re not alone. According to new research from Moonpig, that’s exactly how the nation likes it.
We surveyed 1,500 Brits, and it revealed the era of “high maintenance” friendship is coming to an end. Say goodbye to the constant catch-ups, expensive nights out, and never-ending group chats. Low maintenance, low cost, little-and-often gestures, and masses of intentional love are in.
It turns out that love doesn't need a reason. Sometimes it just needs a stamp and postal address.
Our research revealed that 40% of us feel burnt out by high-maintenance friendship groups, and 34% feel the pressure to keep up with friends financially. Perhaps that’s why 63% of us now value a physical card through the letterbox more than a big extravaganza, and 69% say a strong bond doesn’t depend on constant contact.
What’s driving the shift to low-maintenance friendships?
We all know the feeling of a relentless group chat, or a social calendar that’s one more plan away from bursting at the seams… Or is that us? Anyway, as it turns out, it’s not an all-too-uncommon feeling.
We're bombarded by stimuli everywhere we look, and it's making it harder and harder to switch off and spend some much-needed time alone. Social media doesn't help, and neither does the pressure to fill every sunny day with back-to-back plans. Not everyone has the same income or outgoings either, which adds another layer to the story.
It's little wonder, then, that 59% of us now prefer low-key, spontaneous catch-ups over those big events planned months in advance.
So why are Brits pumping the brakes on socialising in big groups? A large portion of the nation, 70%, is leaning towards prioritising time with small, close-knit circles, and 67% want their social interactions to be low-maintenance. Another 67% also find small, personal gestures more meaningful than the big stuff. Then there's practicality: 65% are choosing activities that require less planning, and 62% are scaling back to save money, whether that's for something bigger down the line or in an effort to stick to a budget.
Think more coffee dates with your best friends and joint errand-running on a Saturday morning, and less “let’s make a whole day of it”.
As a nation, it seems we prefer small acts of affection from friends who understand that life can be unpredictably busy, so they’re happy to fit meeting up around life, not compete with it.
The new rules of friendship
In true Brit fashion, we prefer to avoid a fuss wherever we can. We’re quietly rewriting the rulebook on socialising, and honestly, it sounds like a cool breeze on a stifling day.
We've collectively decided that responses don’t need to be sent immediately, or even soonish after, with 61% of Brits following a "mental energy" texting policy. The gist is you reply when you have the capacity, even if that’s several days or a week later. There’s no judgement or shame to be had, and no need to explain your absence unless you want to.
We’re not just letting texts go unanswered, either, as 57% of us share a meme or post with a friend without expecting a reply, and 56% feel entirely comfortable cancelling plans when they’re socially drained. No-gift birthdays are having their time in the spotlight too, with 56% asking friends – if they insist on buying something – to spend their money on a card or small token instead.
When it comes to keeping in touch, 45% prefer sending a voice note with no expectation of a response, while another 45% would rather simply send a card, letter, or note as a means of checking in. On the topic of voice notes, we’re all for them. They're much quicker than typing out a long message, and you can pop your headphones in to listen to them when you're out and about. But when the whole point is to save time, we'd happily vote for a two-minute voice note cap.
It’s the little-and-often things that count
To be clear, low maintenance doesn't mean no contact. Our research revealed that 65% of us have a friend we can go months on end without speaking to, but it's the small, consistent gestures that keep the friendship alive, not the big extravaganza.
Many of us, 60% in fact, would prefer a simple “Just checking in on you” text over a big night on the town, and 58% like it when a friend remembers a small, yet significant date in their life. Maybe it’s the innate fear of people popping by unannounced, but 57% would rather have a 10-minute phone call to say hello. Mind you, snacks are the exception to that rule, with 51% saying they’d happily welcome a friend dropping off their favourite treat. Lastly, 49% of Brits appreciate a “just because” card in the post.
A “just because” card does exactly what it says on the tin. No occasion, no big gesture, just a reminder you're thinking of them, wherever they are. Shop our “just a note” range and let the small stuff do the talking.
Sound like your friendship group? Sending a card to tell your friend you’re thinking of them, or flowers for a special occasion, might be the lowest-pressure, most rewarding thing you do all week. No occasion required. “Just because” is always enough.