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The Top 20 Great British Dad Jokes

7 Jun 2021

Cringe, Laugh, Love.

Dads are the best. Not only for sharing jewels of wisdom, fixing our broken shelves and always being there when we need them, but ALSO for the greatest (and often cringiest) laughs. The list of things to learn when becoming a father for the first time can be overwhelming, so we thought we’d tick one thing off the list for all our new dads of 2020 and 2021, because honestly guys, you’ve got enough on your plates.

In the run up to Father’s Day 2021 (June 20th FYI) we’ve called upon the Great British nation and some top tier veteran dad-jokers to rank their ultimate favourite dad jokes. But, before we dive into the jokes themselves, here are a couple of fun facts we learnt along the way. 

Laugh or Cringe?

  • 35% of Brits say dad jokes make them feel happy.

  • 12% of us cringe. For Gen Zs the cringe percentage is at an even higher 15%, which is no surprise. If side parts and skinny jeans make them cringe, what hope do dad jokes have? None.

Who’s Funniest?

  • Liverpudlian dads are the funniest (with Birmingham and Cardiff fathers coming in a close second and third).

  • Norwich dads are at the front of the funny struggle bus (joined at the bottom of the heap with Southampton and Nottingham dads). Don’t worry guys, there’s always hope.

See the top 10 funniest dads as rated by their children

Funniest dad's in the UK Graphic

So now, without further ado, here we have the...

Top 20 dad jokes as voted for by the Great British public!

*Warning: show this blog to your dad at your own peril. Side effects may include increasing levels of dad jokes. No known cure.*

20. When does a joke become a 'dad joke’?

When it becomes apparent.

19. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Sofishticated.

18. I love telling dad jokes.

Sometimes he even laughs.

17. Why are elevator jokes so classic?

They work on many levels.

16. How does a man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

15. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

14. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

13. What is Forrest Gump’s password?

1forest1

12. I'm afraid for the calendar.

Its days are numbered.

11. I used to hate facial hair...

...but then it grew on me.

10. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

9. I slept like a log last night.

Woke up in the fireplace!

8. My wife asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall’ to her.

I said maybe…

7. What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

6. Dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.

5. What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

4. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says “sorry we don't serve food here.”

Drum roll for our TOP THREE.....

Top three dad jokes

Still with us? Bravo my friend, you deserve a medal.

To explore our entire Father’s Day cards & gifts range, and find something that makes Dad chuckle aaaaalmost as much as his own jokes, click here.

Moonpig

Moonpig