10 Funny Things to Write in This Years Card
Writing Christmas cards should be the easy bit, right? No sellotape. No scissors. No rolls and rolls of wrapping paper. Just a pen, a card and the right words. Alas, the blank page. How it taunts. How it teases. ‘You’ll never think of anything!’ it laughs. ‘Wit!? What wit!?’ It cries. Fear not. Help is at hand. Forget your standard ‘Merry Christmas!’ fallback. That’s old hat. It’s time you put a big fat grin on someone’s face when they open that Christmas card envelope. From grandma to your grump of a neighbour, here are ten funny Christmas card messages for you to try on for size this holiday season:
A classic Christmas joke here. Have I got you a gift? Haven’t I? It doesn’t matter if you got them a present. Look how hilarious I am? Laughter is your Christmas gift. Deal with it (you may actually want to give this card with a gift).
A message as garish and tacky as the classic Christmas jumpers it speaks of. This kind of Christmas joke is unapologetically in your face – it's unexpected, pointless, and childish… and how funny is that?
Handbag. Watch. Pony. Insert your biggest Christmas wishes as you see fit. Reiterate that must-have at the top of your Christmas list. It’s what Mariah would have wanted.
Okay, so we borrowed this one. Thank you legendary actress and stand-up, Phyllis Diller but we’re taking the credit and running with it.
This is not one for grandma’s card. We repeat, this is not one for grandma’s Christmas card.
Long live the dad joke. Which is to say, nobody is likely to appreciate this joke except your dad.
Good old fashioned word play. Move over Christmas crackers, the real jokes start when your Christmas cards slide through those letterboxes.
Seriously though, why are batteries never included with Christmas gifts?
Because what’s more hilarious than Santa kicking the bucket? Although, this is probably not one for the kids.
As Christmas is a time for cheese (both literally and metaphorically) we finish on a cheesy note. Sure to put a cheeky smile on someone’s face.