Funny Valentines Card Keeping a Tight Grip On The Shaft

Standard Card

For the little messages

Moonpig favourite

Large Card

For a big impression

Giant Card

Would You Like To Lick It Funny TV Valentine's Card

Product Specification:
x1 Moonpig - From Me To You - 1 Bottle Gift Box
x1 Albacore Reserve Shiraz
Additional Information:
x1 Moonpig - From Me To You - 1 Bottle Gift Box
Dimensions: 37 x 90 x 90 x 1.12
Weight: 0.134
ABV: 11%
x1 Albacore Reserve Shiraz
ABV: 14%
Size: 75cl
Vintage: 2020
Age Restriction: You must be 18 or over to buy or consume our alcohol gifts. We may ask to see ID upon delivery.

Alcohol Gift

From Me To You Albacore Reserve Shiraz Gift Box

These are 3 stunning wines. Not surprising, perhaps, when you look at where they come from. Of all the traditional winemaking countries in the world, France has a certain cachet, a particular je ne sais quoi that adds a degree of gravitas other countries can only strive for. And these three treats come in their own stylish, wooden presentation case.
Specially chosen for those who prefer a more traditional selection.
Product Specification:
Virgin Wines Me to You French Red Wine Trio Gift Set 75cl
x1 La Toile Vierge Rouge Vin De France (12.5%)
x1 Trois Calices Grenache Vin De France (14%)
x1 Le Pont de Diable Syrah Grenache(13%)
x1 'Me to You' Gift Box
Additional Information:
Country of origin: France ABV: 12.5%-14% Size: 75cl
You must be 18 or over to buy or consume our alcohol gifts. We may ask to see ID upon delivery. 
&nbsp;
Adding chocolate?
This Strawberries Truffles &amp; Rose gift is the ideal treat for any occasion. This pack contains Lindt&rsquo;s Lindor Strawberries and cream truffles. So sit back and enjoy.
<h4>Ingredients and Allergy Information</h4>
Strawberries &amp; cream - Sugar, vegetable fats, cocoa butter, whole milk powder, skimmed milk powder, cocoa mass, lactose, milk fat, cream powder, strawberry powder, emulsifier &amp; natural flavourings. Allergy advice:&nbsp;may contain&nbsp;hazelnuts and other nuts.
All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.&nbsp;
Store in cool, dry conditions 12-18cm away from strong odours.

Virgin Wines Me to You French Red Wine Trio Gift Set 75cl

Product Specification:
x1 Virgin Wines Sent with Love Wine trio with Prosecco
Additional Information:
x1 Virgin Wines Sent with Love Wine trio with Prosecco
Dimensions: 37 x 90 x 90 x 1.14
Weight: 4
ABV: 11%, 14.5%
1x Prodezza Prosecco Brut
1x 16 Little Black Pigs Shiraz Cabernet
1x Ali di Api Pinot Grigio
1x Sent with Love Gift Box

Virgin Wines Sent with Love Wine trio with Prosecco

Love is in the air, and there's so much to adore about this Valentine's Day balloon. Our helium balloons arrive by post ready-inflated all with a long string and plastic circle balloon weight.
Product Specification
1 x 18" Helium Balloon 1 x Ribbon 1 x Chocolate coins Weight (upon avalilability)
Additional Information
Inflated with helium, and delivered by courier in one of our signature boxes, our self-sealing foil balloons are filled to last! That's why we guarantee five days of floating high or we'll replace them at no extra cost. Send balloon delivery for next-day arrival and we also have special Saturday courier service available.
Chocolate Coins Ingredients: Sugar, whole milk powder, cocoa mass, cocoa butter, emulsifier: sunflower lecithin, natural vanilla flavouring. Cocoa solids 28% minimum, milk solids 15% minmum. May contain traces of soya and nuts. Allergy advice: for allergens see ingredients in bold. May also contain soya and nuts.

Balloon

Red Heart Balloon

Product Specification
1 x 18" Helium Balloon 1 x Light String 1 x Coin Chocolate Weight (upon availbility)
Additional Information
Inflated with helium, and delivered by courier in one of our signature boxes, our self-sealing foil balloons are filled to last! That's why we guarantee five days of floating high or we'll replace them at no extra cost. Send balloon delivery for next-day arrival and we also have special Saturday courier service available.
Chocolate Coins Ingredients: Sugar, whole&nbsp;milk&nbsp;powder, cocoa mass, cocoa butter, emulsifier: sunflower lecithin, natural vanilla flavouring. Cocoa solids 28% minimum, milk solids 15% minmum. May contain traces of soya and nuts. Allergy advice: for allergens see ingredients in&nbsp;bold. May also contain soya and nuts.

You Light Me Up Red Heart Balloon

Rude Funny Toaster Valentine's Day Card 
I want to slide in deep!
Mmm, you're so hot!

Naughty And Funny Toaster Valentine's Day Card

Happy I Shaved For You Day Funny Valentine's Card

It doesn't matter whether they're part of the Rebel Alliance or the Galactic Empire, they deserve to get clean in style. With a body puff and body wash, it's a scrubbing good gift.
Product Specification:
x1 Body
x1 Body Puff
Ingredients:
Aqua(Water), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Chloride, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Benzoate, Parfum(Fragrance), Phenoxyethanol, PEG-150 Distearate, PEG-7 Glyceryl Cocoate, Citric Acid, Disodium EDTA, Ethylhexylglycerin.
Additional Information:
Dimensions: 15.2 x 12.2 x 9.7
Weight: 0.83
&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Adding Malteser Truffles (200g)?
Ingredients:
Sugar, Palm Fat, Cocoa Butter, Skimmed Milk Powder, Barley, Malt Extract, Cocoa Mass, Full Cream Milk Powder, Milk Fat, Lactose and Protein from Whey (from Milk), Whey Powder (from Milk), Demineralised Whey Powder (from Milk), Shea Fat, Lactose, Glucose Syrup, Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Wheat Flour, Salt, Raising Agents (E341, E500, E501), Wheat Gluten, Natural Vanilla Extract, Milk Chocolate contains Milk Solids 14% minimum, Milk Chocolate contains Vegetable Fats in addition to Cocoa Butter.

Beauty

Darth Vader Body Wash Gift Set

The ultimate gift for the man who dares to be different, the Joop Homme Eau De Toilette is an impressive present for any occasion. A woody, floral fragrance which is both masculine and sensual, it perfectly blends citrussy, spicy and wooden notes. Presented in an eye-catching fuchsia bottle, this wow-worthy fragrance is bold in both scent and appearance. Top notes: Orange blossom, mandarin orange, bergamot and Amalfi lemon Middle notes: Cinnamon, heliotrope, jasmine, cardamom and lily-of-the-valley Base notes: Vanilla, tonka bean, sandalwood, patchouli, tobacco, vetiver and honey
Warning: flammable
Adding chocolate?
Send someone the gift of ultimate chocolate indulgence with Lindt. These individually wrapped delights combine creaminess and crunchiness in a unique taste and texture experience. With velvety dark chocolate and whole roasted hazelnuts, this is the perfect gift for that sweet-toothed person in your life!
Product Specification:
x1 Lindt NUXOR with Dark Chocolate and Whole Roasted Hazelnuts Box (165g)
Additional Information:
Product dimensions: H: 18cm x W: 10.5cm x D: 5.8cm Weight: 165g
Dietary Information:
Allergy Advice - Contains Walnuts and other nuts.
Please be aware that our gifts may contain or come into contact with common allergens, such as dairy, eggs, wheat, soybeans, tree nuts, peanuts, or wheat.
Ingredients:
Sugar Whole Hazelnuts (20%) Cocoa Mass Ground Hazelnuts (16%) Cocoa Butter Fat Reduced Cocoa Powder Whole Milk Powder Anhydrous Milk Fat Almonds (0.2%) Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin) Flavouring Dark Chocolate contains: Cocoa Solids: 46% min
All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.&nbsp;
Store in cool, dry conditions 12-18cm away from strong odours.

JOOP! Homme Eau De Toilette 125ml

Gold, gold, gold! This Paco Rabanne 1 Million fragrance is for the one in a million guy in your life. A fresh, spicy and leathery fragrance, this bottle is a striking combination of refined sensuality and bold strength. The bottle is a modern reinterpretation of a gold ingot; simple and elegant, it looks just as good as it smells! Perfect to add a little extra sparkle to a birthday, anniversary or any occasion you can think of. Top notes: Blood Mandarin, Grapefruit and Mint Middle notes: Cinnamon, Rose and Spicy Notes Base notes: Amber, Leather, Woody Notes and Indian Patchouli
Warning: flammable
Adding chocolate?
Send someone the gift of ultimate chocolate indulgence with Lindt. These individually wrapped delights combine creaminess and crunchiness in a unique taste and texture experience. With velvety dark chocolate and whole roasted hazelnuts, this is the perfect gift for that sweet-toothed person in your life!
Product Specification:
x1 Lindt NUXOR with Dark Chocolate and Whole Roasted Hazelnuts Box (165g)
Additional Information:
Product dimensions: H: 18cm x W: 10.5cm x D: 5.8cm Weight: 165g
Dietary Information:
Allergy Advice - Contains Walnuts and other nuts.
Please be aware that our gifts may contain or come into contact with common allergens, such as dairy, eggs, wheat, soybeans, tree nuts, peanuts, or wheat.
Ingredients:
Sugar Whole Hazelnuts (20%) Cocoa Mass Ground Hazelnuts (16%) Cocoa Butter Fat Reduced Cocoa Powder Whole Milk Powder Anhydrous Milk Fat Almonds (0.2%) Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin) Flavouring Dark Chocolate contains: Cocoa Solids: 46% min
All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.&nbsp;
Store in cool, dry conditions 12-18cm away from strong odours.

Paco Rabanne 1 Million Eau De Toilette 50ml

Looking for an aftershave that's as charismatic and uninhibited as he is? Look no further! A sophisticated gift for a special occasion, the Calvin Klein In2U for Him Eau De Toilette has cool musks and citrus tones lingering throughout, with a warm vetiver finish. A contemporary yet timeless fragrance he'll reach for time and time again. Top notes: Lemon and tomato Leaf Middle note: Cacao pod Base notes: Cedar, white musk and vetiver
Warning: Flammable

Calvin Klein In2U for Him Eau De Toilette 150ml

A beer-illiant gift for the hops lover in your life, this branded gift pack includes two of Brewdog's most popular brews along with a glass to enjoy sipping them from. Cheers!
Product Specification:
x1 Brewdog Punk IPA 330ml
x1 Brewdog Lost Lager 330ml
x1 Branded Glass
Additional Information:
Dimensions: 26 x 23.2 x 8.4cm
Weight: 1.54kg
660ml x1 5.4% x1 4.5%
Minimum age 18 years +
Adding Malteser Truffles (200g)?
Ingredients:
Sugar, Palm Fat, Cocoa Butter, Skimmed Milk Powder, Barley, Malt Extract, Cocoa Mass, Full Cream Milk Powder, Milk Fat, Lactose and Protein from Whey (from Milk), Whey Powder (from Milk), Demineralised Whey Powder (from Milk), Shea Fat, Lactose, Glucose Syrup, Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Wheat Flour, Salt, Raising Agents (E341, E500, E501), Wheat Gluten, Natural Vanilla Extract, Milk Chocolate contains Milk Solids 14% minimum, Milk Chocolate contains Vegetable Fats in addition to Cocoa Butter.

Brewdog Punk IPA & Lost Lager Glass Gift Set

Product Specification:
x4&nbsp;330ml Craft Lager cans x1 Beer glass x2 Snacks Beer Mats &amp; Pub Quiz
Additional Information:
x1 Love Beer Box
Ingredients: Beer will contain gluten from malted barley and malted wheat. Occasionally, some beers may contain lactose, please check with us if concerned or to exclude any particular ingredients. Snacks and other similar products may contain: celery, cereals containing gluten (such as barley and oats), crustaceans (such as prawns, crabs and lobsters), eggs, fish, lupin, milk, molluscs (such as mussels and oysters), mustard, peanuts, sesame, soybeans, sulphur dioxide and sulphites (if the sulphur dioxide and sulphites are at a concentration of more than ten parts per million) and tree nuts (such as almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, brazil nuts, cashews, pecans, pistachios and macadamia nuts). This also applies to additives, processing aids and any other substances which are present in the final product.&nbsp;
Allergies: All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.&nbsp;
Age Restriction: You must be 18 or over to buy or consume our alcohol gifts. We may ask to see ID upon delivery.
Adding Chocolate?
x1 Maltesers Truffles Box 200g
Ingredients:
Sugar, Palm Fat, Cocoa Butter, Skimmed Milk Powder, Barley Malt Extract, Cocoa Mass, Full Cream Milk Powder, Milk Fat, Lactose and Protein from Whey (from Milk), Whey Powder (from Milk), Demineralised Whey Powder (from Milk), Shea Fat, Lactose, Glucose Syrup, Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Wheat Flour, Salt, Raising Agents (E341, E500, E501), Wheat Gluten, Natural Vanilla Extract, Milk Chocolate contains Milk Solids 14% minimum, Milk Chocolate contains Vegetable Fats in addition to Cocoa Butter,
Allergy, May contain: Almond, Hazelnut
Additional Information:
Dimensions: 14.5x11.7x10.3
Weight: 0.2
Allergies: All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.

Love Beer Thirst Aid Kit Hamper

Funny To My Favourite Pussy Valentines Day Card This Valentine's Day, Love Bigger! Show them how much they mean to you with one of our unique Valentine's Day cards - add your most memorable photos, make it personal with their name, and write a sweet message inside.

Funny To My Favourite Pussy Valentines Day Card

Typographical Happy Valentines To You And Your Resting Face Rude Valentines Day Card

Funny and Rude Fancy A Bone? Valentine's Day Card

Funny and Rude Fancy A Bone Valentine's Day Card

Funny Im Horny Card

Funny This Is The Only Reason I Love You Card

Spoil your oh-so-special hubby to a gift that never misses. This giant bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk is a whole 850g of deliciousness, guaranteed to delight right down to the last square.
Product Specification:
x1&nbsp;850g CDM Bar Milk
Ingredients:
Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Cocoa Mass, Vegetable Fats (Palm, Shea), Emulsifiers (E442, E476), Flavourings, **The equivalent of 426 ml of Fresh Liquid Milk in every 227 g of Milk Chocolate, Milk Solids 20 % minimum, actual 23 %, Cocoa Solids 20 % minimum, Contains Vegetable Fats in addition to Cocoa Butter Contains Milk. May Contain Nuts, Wheat.&nbsp;
Additional Information:
169mm 420mm 15mm 850g

Chocolates

Cadbury Special Hubby Dairy Milk (850g)

Product Specification:
x1 Love 3 Bar Letterbox
Additional Information:
x1 Love 3 Bar Letterbox
Dimensions: 2.5 x 26.5 x 18.5
Weight: 300g
Ingredients:
Salted Caramel Bar: Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Whole Milk Powder, Skimmed Milk Powder, Cocoa Mass, Caramel Powder (skimmed milk powder, whey powder (milk), sugar, butter (milk)), Whey Powder (milk), Lactose (milk), Sea Salt, Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Flavouring Caramel and Natural Vanilla. Dark Chocolate Raspberry Crisp: Cocoa Mass, Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Raspberry Crisp (white granulated sugar, glucose syrup, coconut oil, natural flavour, natural colour (anthocyanin, glycerine, DI water)), emulsifier (sunflower lecithin)), Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Natural Flavouring (vanilla, raspberry (0.2%)). Bee Happy Bar: Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Whole Milk Powder, Cocoa Mass, Honeycomb (sugar, glucose syrup, bicarbonate of soda, rice flour), Caramel pieces (glucose syrup, sugar, sweetened condensed milk, salted butter (milk, salt), water, salt), Emulsifier (Soya Lecithin), Flavouring (natural vanilla).
Please see individual bars for allergen information. Store between 14c to 22c and keep dry and away from direct sunlight and florescent lights.
Allergies:&nbsp;All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.

Gnaw Love You Letterbox Chocolates 300g (Contains 3 Bars)

Funny Cheeky Chops If You Were A Bogey I Would Pick You Card

Super Stud Of A Certain Strength Personalised Name Card Once you've personalised your card and used the handwriting feature on the app, it's time to make their day even brighter by adding flowers and a gift!

Super Stud Of A Certain Strength Personalised Name Card

Dean Morris Happy Valentine's Gay Card

Dean Morris Spoon You So Hard Funny Valentine's Day Card

Funny Typographic Be My Big Gay Valentine Card

Funny Rude Sex on Valentine's Day Card 
4 out of 5 couple have Valentine's Day Sex... hello number 5.



Funny Rude Sex on Valentine's Day Card

Vintage Retro She Couldn't Resist Robots Personalised Happy Valentine's Day Card Once you've personalised your card and used the handwriting feature on the app, it's time to make their day even brighter by adding flowers and a gift!

Vintage Retro She Couldn't Resist Robots Personalised Happy Valentine's Day Card

I Need A Hug That Turns Into Sex Valentines Day Card Once you've personalised your card and used the handwriting feature on the app, its time to make their day even brighter by adding flowers and a gift!

I Need A Hug That Turns Into Sex Valentines Day Card

Jolly Awesome Hot Pizza Ass Funny Card

Rude Card

10 Out Of 10 Rude Love Cheeky Valentines Day Card

Cheeky Rude Love Rollercoaster Ride Valentines Day Card

Rude Lady Bits Blush Cheeky Love Valentines Day Card

Mungo And Shoddy Funny Wine Valentine's Day Card 
Fancy A Screw? I've Already Got My Cork Out!


Mungo And Shoddy Rude Fancy A Screw Wine themed Valentine's Day Card

Don&rsquo;t let Valentine&rsquo;s Day stress you out &ndash; squeeze these Ann Summers Stress Boobs for instant calm and relaxation. Specially designed to help relieve tension and soothe a worried mind, these boobs are a cheeky little gift for someone on Valentine&rsquo;s Day, a hen party present, or birthday surprise.
Includes: 
<ul>
<li>1 x stress boobs</li>
</ul>
Dimensions: 9.5cm x 9.5cm x 5CM
Warning Explicit Content
This is an adult product, not suitable for Under 18s.

Gadgets & Novelties

Ann Summers Stress Boobs

You Make Me Want To Beet My Meat Rude Valentines Day Card

Funny Rude You're like Coffee Valentine's Day Card 
I wake up thinking of you, I want you all the time, and I need you inside me now!

Funny Rude You're like Coffee Valentine's Day Card

David Attenborough Mating Ritual Valentines Day Card

I'd Kneel For You Themed Valentine's Day Card

Topical I'd Kneel For You Themed Valentine's Day Card

Treat them to the best part of any special day - sweet eating, with this fantastic collection of fizzy sweets. This yummy selection of mixed sweets from the chaps over at Sweets in the City has it all, from Fizzy Peaches to Flying Saucers, this delicious selection is guaranteed to delight any sweet tooth - no matter their age!
Make their surprise all the more wonderful and add on a delightful cassis and rose tin candle from Cath Kidston to your order &ndash; there's no better way to bring joy! Product Specification:
1x 1kg Jar of Sweets
Additional Information:
Product dimensions, 182x133mm, 1035g.
<h4>Dietary Information:</h4>
For Allergens, may also contain NUTS, PEANUTS, EGGS, and CEREALS containing GLUTEN. may contain Wheat.
<h4>Ingredients:</h4>
Sour Watermelon Slices: Sugar, glucose syrup, WHEAT starch, water, modified maize starch, acids: lactic acid, citric acid, malic acid, sodium malate; modified potato starch, flavouring, fruit and vegetable concentrate: black carrot, spirulina and safflower.
Fizzy Dummies: Sugar, glucose syrup, WHEAT starch, water, modified maize starch, acids; lactic acid, citric acid, malic acid, sodium malate; modified potato starch, flavourings, fruit and vegetable concentrates; spirulina, safflower, black carrot, grape; colours: curcumine, paprika extract.
Damel Candy Shocks: Sugar, Glucose-fructose syrup, WHEAT flour, water, acidulants; E330, E296, vegetable fat (coconut), acidity regulator; E350, emulsifier; E471, flavour, preservative; E202, colours; E102, E129, E133, E171. Warning: E102 and E129 may have an adverse effect on activity and attention in children.
Flying Saucers: Sugar, maize starch, water, dextrose, acid: E334; acidity regulator: E500; flavourings, colours: E100, E132, E162.
Fizzy Twin Cherries: Sugar, glucose syrup, WHEAT starch, water, modified maize starch, acids (lactic acid, malic acid, citric acid) acidity regulators (sodium malates, sodium hydrogen carbonate), modified potato starch, flavouring, plant and vegetable concentrates (spirulina, safflower, black carrot).
Sour Apples: Sugar, Glucose Syrup, Water, WHEAT Starch, Modified Maize Starch, Acids (Lactic Acid, Malic Acid, Citric Acid) Modified Potato Starch, Acidity Regulators (Sodium Malates, Sodium Hydrogen Carbonate), Plant and Vegetable Concentrates (Spirulina, Safflower, Black Carrot), Flavouring, Colour (Curcumin).
Fizzy Cherry Cola Bottles: Sugar, Glucose Syrup, WHEAT starch, Water, Modified maize starch, Acids (Mallic, Sodium malates, Lactic, Citric) Modified Potato Starch, Flavourings, Caramel syrup, Fruit and Vegetable Concentrates (Black carrot).
Fizzy Strawberries: Sugar, Glucose Syrup, WHEAT Starch, Water, Modified maize starch, Modified potato starch, Acids (Lactic, Malic, Citric), Flavouring, Vegetable &amp; Plant Concentrates (Black carrot, Spirulina, Safflower).
Strawberry &amp; Lemonade Duals: Glucose syrup, sugar, dextrose, modified tapioca starch, modified potato starch, 4%&nbsp;strawberry juice from concentrate, acids: citric acid, malic acid, 2% lemon juice from&nbsp;concentrate, acidity regulator: sodium citrates, sodium malates, invert sugar syrup,&nbsp;hydrolysed rice protein, gelling agent: pectins, flavourings, fruit and vegetable concentrates:&nbsp;lemon, safflower, carrot, blackcurrant, potato protein.
Apple &amp; Watermelon Duals: Glucose syrup, sugar, dextrose, 6% apple juice from concentrate, modified tapioca starch,&nbsp;modified potato starch, acids: citric acid, malic acid, fruit and vegetable concentrates: spirulina, safflower, carrot, blackcurrant; acidity regulator: sodium citrates, sodium malates,&nbsp;invert sugar syrup, hydrolysed rice protein, gelling agent: pectins, flavourings, potato protein. Warning: E129 and E102 may have an adverse effect on activity an attention in children.
&nbsp;
Allergens in Bold.
May contain other nuts.
Store in cool, dry conditions 12-18cm away from strong odours.
All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies.
"Adding an extra sweet treat?
1 x Giant Lollipop
Additional Information:&nbsp;
250g, 255 x 135 x 13mm
Ingredients:&nbsp;
Sugar, glucose syrup, flavour: mint, colours: E100, E120, E141, E160a, E163, E171 See allergens on back of pack.
All customers and recipients should ensure they have read the product information carefully, especially if a recipient has any allergies. "

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